Thursday, November 27, 2003
Deoch 40, Spring; 4th Moon, 9th Day
These past few days have been intense for me. I reached my 11th insight, and on the very same day I met my granddaughter, Alyson. I could tell she was who she said she was – I can see it in her eyes. She is a young Wizard, well on her way in her craft. I was surprised to hear that her name is Buidseachd. This is the name of my long-lost best friend, Rhiamon. Or at least, it was her name until she married my relative, Paladine Meatha. Alyson filled in the blanks for me.
My daughter, Kaetlyn, had become an Aisling in Deoch 20, following the path of the Priest. During her time in Mileth, she met her uncle, my brother Sarc. She formed friendships, all the while hoping to hear more of what had happened to me. Two years later, she fell in love with a mundane peasant. His name was Nathan Buidseachd, Rhiamon’s little brother. Rhiamon had never rediscovered her family. Oh, how I wish she were here so I could tell her! She’d be so pleased.. Kaetlyn and Nathan had two children, Fionnuala first then Alyson. They were raised on stories of their grandmother and aunt, and Alyson told me how much Fionnuala had idolized me. So much so, that when she became an Aisling, she followed the path of the Monk. Alyson had idolized Rhiamon and was working hard to follow in her aunt’s footsteps.
Fionnuala had known I was coming. Alyson hadn’t believed her, but Fionnuala sensed it somehow, and left with Alyson some Monk items to give to me when I came. As for Fionnuala, she had joined a group of young Aislings and voyaged far from Mileth, feeling an overwhelming call to follow that path. I’m sure I will meet her someday. Kaetlyn, I am pleased to learn, is doing well and living in a neighboring village, not far from here. She and Nathan had moved there just after Fionnuala and Alyson had left for Mileth.
So there, I was filled in on what had happened with my family in my absence. But now I should record what caused my absence. Things are becoming more and more clear, but I can only record a little bit right now, as I am still trying to figure it all out. I was first born into this world as Kiera Daedre, in Danaan 3278. When I was twelve I had fallen in love with an Aisling Priest named Brandubh. You must that at that age, I was considered a woman. It wasn’t uncommon for girls as young as twelve or thirteen to marry and begin their families.
I didn’t know that Brandubh worked for Sgrios, and I didn’t know that he had come into my life for one reason: to pledge my soul, my powers, to Sgrios. All I knew was that he suddenly vanished from my life and I was left alone. I later became an Aisling and followed the path of the Monk. I stayed in Mileth for many years, and during that time I’d had my daughter. I left Mileth to raise her, but in Deoch 18, when she was 12, I left her.
Nightmares had been haunting me for many years up until that point, and that winter it finally came to a head. This part I can tell you both from what my family knew and the little that I remember. In the winter of Deoch 18, I left my family to go face the Darkness, as we had called it. My parents, who I was living with, knew and promised to take care of Kaetlyn for me until I returned. I remember there was a battle, but I only remember it in parts. I remember the dubhaimid, the gargoyles and the succumbi. And I remember leaving my body just before it was destroyed.
But I didn’t die. I didn’t move on. I was trapped in limbo, in the astral realm. The Darkness hadn’t claimed my soul, but it had succeeded in destroying my body. What followed was a sort of timelessness filled with darkness and wandering. It wasn’t always bad, mind you. In the future, I should write more about the astral realm. It’s really quite an interesting place. My problem was that I was being followed, hunted even, by dark spirits.
I still don’t know how, but somehow I was returned to a body, though it wasn’t my own. It was a young girl named Deylea O’Conner who had died, just moments before, of fever. I can’t even describe the confusion that followed. I was blessed that Deylea’s family was so kind and caring. They didn’t suspect that I wasn’t their daughter, and I had to stay with them for a time. Only dear Grandma O’Conner had any idea that I wasn’t Deylea, but she kept my secret. It was Deoch 37 when I took over Deylea’s body. I couldn’t believe so many years had passed.. and I knew I had to find my daughter, somehow.
Now I am back in Mileth, an Aisling again. I’m not sure why I’m back. I should have died when my body was destroyed, but I didn’t. I should have moved on somehow afterwards, but I couldn’t. If I had never left to fight the Darkness alone, I would have been fifty four years old now. As it is, I have the memories of someone who has lived thirty five (32 years in my old form, 3 in this one).
I find myself seeking answers in the oddest of places. Today, I ventured deep into the Dubhaim Castle, in search of the Sgrios fellowship. I barely understand why I did this, but I was fortunate to find two helpful priests who listened to my story and offered opinions on what it could mean. I want to know why Brandubh marked me for Sgrios so many years ago. I want to know what the Darkness is that haunts me, and how it came to be that I was returned to a body. I felt strange energies when it happened – I know it was an assisted process. But by whom?
My daughter, Kaetlyn, had become an Aisling in Deoch 20, following the path of the Priest. During her time in Mileth, she met her uncle, my brother Sarc. She formed friendships, all the while hoping to hear more of what had happened to me. Two years later, she fell in love with a mundane peasant. His name was Nathan Buidseachd, Rhiamon’s little brother. Rhiamon had never rediscovered her family. Oh, how I wish she were here so I could tell her! She’d be so pleased.. Kaetlyn and Nathan had two children, Fionnuala first then Alyson. They were raised on stories of their grandmother and aunt, and Alyson told me how much Fionnuala had idolized me. So much so, that when she became an Aisling, she followed the path of the Monk. Alyson had idolized Rhiamon and was working hard to follow in her aunt’s footsteps.
Fionnuala had known I was coming. Alyson hadn’t believed her, but Fionnuala sensed it somehow, and left with Alyson some Monk items to give to me when I came. As for Fionnuala, she had joined a group of young Aislings and voyaged far from Mileth, feeling an overwhelming call to follow that path. I’m sure I will meet her someday. Kaetlyn, I am pleased to learn, is doing well and living in a neighboring village, not far from here. She and Nathan had moved there just after Fionnuala and Alyson had left for Mileth.
So there, I was filled in on what had happened with my family in my absence. But now I should record what caused my absence. Things are becoming more and more clear, but I can only record a little bit right now, as I am still trying to figure it all out. I was first born into this world as Kiera Daedre, in Danaan 3278. When I was twelve I had fallen in love with an Aisling Priest named Brandubh. You must that at that age, I was considered a woman. It wasn’t uncommon for girls as young as twelve or thirteen to marry and begin their families.
I didn’t know that Brandubh worked for Sgrios, and I didn’t know that he had come into my life for one reason: to pledge my soul, my powers, to Sgrios. All I knew was that he suddenly vanished from my life and I was left alone. I later became an Aisling and followed the path of the Monk. I stayed in Mileth for many years, and during that time I’d had my daughter. I left Mileth to raise her, but in Deoch 18, when she was 12, I left her.
Nightmares had been haunting me for many years up until that point, and that winter it finally came to a head. This part I can tell you both from what my family knew and the little that I remember. In the winter of Deoch 18, I left my family to go face the Darkness, as we had called it. My parents, who I was living with, knew and promised to take care of Kaetlyn for me until I returned. I remember there was a battle, but I only remember it in parts. I remember the dubhaimid, the gargoyles and the succumbi. And I remember leaving my body just before it was destroyed.
But I didn’t die. I didn’t move on. I was trapped in limbo, in the astral realm. The Darkness hadn’t claimed my soul, but it had succeeded in destroying my body. What followed was a sort of timelessness filled with darkness and wandering. It wasn’t always bad, mind you. In the future, I should write more about the astral realm. It’s really quite an interesting place. My problem was that I was being followed, hunted even, by dark spirits.
I still don’t know how, but somehow I was returned to a body, though it wasn’t my own. It was a young girl named Deylea O’Conner who had died, just moments before, of fever. I can’t even describe the confusion that followed. I was blessed that Deylea’s family was so kind and caring. They didn’t suspect that I wasn’t their daughter, and I had to stay with them for a time. Only dear Grandma O’Conner had any idea that I wasn’t Deylea, but she kept my secret. It was Deoch 37 when I took over Deylea’s body. I couldn’t believe so many years had passed.. and I knew I had to find my daughter, somehow.
Now I am back in Mileth, an Aisling again. I’m not sure why I’m back. I should have died when my body was destroyed, but I didn’t. I should have moved on somehow afterwards, but I couldn’t. If I had never left to fight the Darkness alone, I would have been fifty four years old now. As it is, I have the memories of someone who has lived thirty five (32 years in my old form, 3 in this one).
I find myself seeking answers in the oddest of places. Today, I ventured deep into the Dubhaim Castle, in search of the Sgrios fellowship. I barely understand why I did this, but I was fortunate to find two helpful priests who listened to my story and offered opinions on what it could mean. I want to know why Brandubh marked me for Sgrios so many years ago. I want to know what the Darkness is that haunts me, and how it came to be that I was returned to a body. I felt strange energies when it happened – I know it was an assisted process. But by whom?
Tuesday, November 25, 2003
Deoch 40, Spring; 3rd Moon, 28th Day
It’s been quite the journey. I haven’t written in this journal for a while because I’ve been busy with my training. No matter what’s going on in my mind, my training helps keep me centered and focused.
I was on a quest with my mentor, Deice, when we suddenly ran into a little group of dubhaimid. I could feel my skin grow cold as I saw those little creatures. Flashes of my nightmares flowed through my mind and I found myself standing alone, as Deice destroyed them easily. He could see that I was pretty shaken up, but he and I had a quest to finish and I couldn’t take the time to tell him why I was upset.
Later, I told Suzuna what had happened. She was kind and caring, listening to my words. She then informed me that she believed me to be someone whom she’s heard about before. She spoke one name, and it was all that took to unclog a portion of my memories: Kaetlyn. I’m crying again as I write this, I feel so badly that I’d forgotten my own daughter. I know it’s not my fault – when one becomes an Aisling, one’s memories are lost temporarily – but I can’t help but feel badly. It’ll be alright, though. Suzuna informed me of two interesting things. One is, I have granddaughters who are in Mileth now. The other is, upon reaching my 11th insight I’m sure to have more clarity into my forgotten past. So now I hunt with a fervor, striving for this goal.
I was on a quest with my mentor, Deice, when we suddenly ran into a little group of dubhaimid. I could feel my skin grow cold as I saw those little creatures. Flashes of my nightmares flowed through my mind and I found myself standing alone, as Deice destroyed them easily. He could see that I was pretty shaken up, but he and I had a quest to finish and I couldn’t take the time to tell him why I was upset.
Later, I told Suzuna what had happened. She was kind and caring, listening to my words. She then informed me that she believed me to be someone whom she’s heard about before. She spoke one name, and it was all that took to unclog a portion of my memories: Kaetlyn. I’m crying again as I write this, I feel so badly that I’d forgotten my own daughter. I know it’s not my fault – when one becomes an Aisling, one’s memories are lost temporarily – but I can’t help but feel badly. It’ll be alright, though. Suzuna informed me of two interesting things. One is, I have granddaughters who are in Mileth now. The other is, upon reaching my 11th insight I’m sure to have more clarity into my forgotten past. So now I hunt with a fervor, striving for this goal.
